Taking a step back

    Do you ever wish you had a camera around to capture all those "perfect" moments?! I saw a quote once that said "we don't remember days, we remember moments"...

    But why? What sets those moments apart from every other moment? Because it seems like some moments, such as those "big milestones" should stay with us forever and mean the most. But for me those big days seem to fade into a blur while the little, unlikely moments stand out like vibrant colors on a black canvas. Maybe it's because in those moments we realize or feel something new, or different. Maybe it's when you body and soul connect together.. Or maybe it's a simple as realizing that time doesn't stop, but goes by rather quickly. Like when you see your "little nephew" and you realize he is no longer a little boy. He is now a young man who is seeing  the value of a genuine compliment and being nice to others, and what it means to have faith. Or maybe it's that "magic in the air" affect that helps us to remember. Such as the night when you find yourself dancing to your favorite song under the only street light in the middle of no where with your best friend. Or perhaps it could be feeling peace and love when you realize a prayer has been answered. 
    You know, it is easy to get caught up in the stress if everyday life. But why should we always focus in the bad?? Are we not told that "thine aflictions will be but a small moment"? (D&C 121:7 ) It's time to start seeing the good. The good in the world, the good in those who have hurt you, and the good in yourself!

    The most tender memories can't be captured on camera because they are felt by the heart. But here's to all the good, yet crazy times I've experienced with those I love the most. A gentle nod to the past as we learn to embrace the unknown.

   

Getting Lost

  In my last area before I came home my companion and I were "opening the area". That just means that both of the missionaries in the companionship are new to the area and normally don't know any of the people or the area. I must say I had some of the most epic adventures in this area, including the big power box thingy that is attached to the power line ( i think it is called the transformer) exploding just down the street from where we lived!
  Because we weren't familiar with the area we chose 2 reference points, The church building and our Friday night dinner appointment! Both very important! Everyday for the first few days we would go to the church building and than start to find people from there, mostly because we needed to know where the church building was by Sunday, or...well, I don't know what kind of missionaries we would be if we didn't go to church!
  We saw so many miracles happen in this area and I was only there for 12 days! 
  On one particular day we started at the church and decided to try and find the members on the road leading to the church and to hopefully find some people to teach as well! We stopped by one house and introduced ourselves, the man wasn't interested BUT he did give us a referral for a less active! So we quickly found this less active family and when we met them they were very receptive and happy to see us after so many years! 
There was another time we were walking down the street and decided to stop and talk to a girl who looked like she was having a rough day, as we were talking to her we met her mother and just began to get to know their family. Well come to find out, she knew exactly who we were! She was a member herself, but they had just moved into the area and her husband was really sick so she was unable to go to church! 
  I know these are just simple stories, but the cool part about most of the miracles that happened, all came when we were lost. We didn't know where we were or where we should go, so we learned to listen and to follow, and miracles proceeded.
  When I came up to Utah to finish up testing and to help my sister I was again in a new city! My very wise sister told me "pick one or two places that you can make as a reference point and than never take the same route home". Her suggestion of reference point, the temple. The Logan temple sits up on a hill, brightly illuminated for all to see, especially a lost traveler. We also saw miracle in this beautiful city! Not the ones we were expecting, but ones I will ever be grateful for.
  Have you noticed anything similar about these stories?... The reference points are sacred places, and the miracles happened when the travelers were lost, left to rely on something more divine. Aren't we all a little lost in our lives? Seeking and striving to do the right thing? Where do you go when you are lost in your life, and who do you consult to find the right way? When life gets rough many people like to blame God, and they wonder why me? Why does this have to happen to me? But shouldn't we ask "Why not me?". Trials come to us for 1 of 2 reasons, it is either a consequence of sin, or it is Heavenly Father telling you its time to grow! That means Heavenly Father is trusting you! How awesome does that feel! The man who know EVERYTHING, and loves you more than we can dare to comprehend wants you to experience something greater than you already have! He sees your true divine potential. So, we have some options. We can say "no!" we can turn around and stop progressing by not going to church, by not continuing to pray and to be miserable. OR we can say "I don't know how I am going to do this, but, lets go". The second option isn't always the easiest, and the rewards often unseen but in the shadows of the trial lay the miracles waiting to be realized. It is those miracles and those tender mercies that make the rocky path worth it! So my dear friends, if you are lost and cant find your way, stop a second find something happy (there is ALWAYS something to be happy about!) and go back to what you know is right. I have a testimony that when we humble ourselves before Him he will show us where we need to go! Kaya mo yan! (You can do it!)  

-XOXO-

The Temple

  Have you ever been between a rock and a hard place, and you were just yearning for that "safe peaceful place". A place that made you closer to God, a place that makes you feel loved, and wanted...Somewhere that kind of reminds you of that childhood home that smells like chocolate chip cookie when you walk in... 
Well my home never really smelled like chocolate chip cookies when I walked in and neither does this "Heaven on Earth". BUT there is a place that allows you to feel peace and comfort when all other sources don't, and that place is what we call a Temple. 
  Temples aren't a new concept, you can read all about them in the Bible as well as The Book of Mormon. Temples are a very sacred, not secret place where worthy members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saint can go to make covenants and gain spiritual strength. There is a story about a little boy and a security guard for the temple. The security guard was watching the camera screen when he noticed a little boy run in and out of the gate. He though this was interesting, so he went outside to ask the boy what he was doing. The little boy asked the security guard if he could feel "it". The security guard looked a little confused and the little boy had the security guard go outside the gate and than run inside with him again. He than asked the question again "Can you feel it?". He than continued to tell the security guard that it "feels different" as they stood within the temple gates. There is a special spirit or feeling when you are at the temple, one that you cant find anywhere else. 
  This last summer I had the opportunity to take a little trip up to Utah with my family and my 2 best friends. Well my one best friend who many are familiar with (Ryan) was preparing for baptism just a week later. The first night that we got into Salt lake it was pretty late, if I am recalling correctly, so we didn't get out of the car, we just drove around the block. And the temple even though it is well lit and is rather large can sneak up on you in down town Salt Lake. So we told Ryan to look out his window, and the look in his eye as he caught his first glimpse of this sacred ground was priceless. It was as though heaven was in his eyes, and he had just witnessed a miracle.
  The same thing happened when we took investigators to visit the Manila temple. My dear friend in my first area went to the temple for the first time with his family and it would be sufficient to say they have experienced some rough times, but when you see the picture of the 3 of them standing with the temple in the background you cant help but notice the smile on their face. In fact after that day my companion was looking at the pictures and made the comment that they just looked so happy! For once they could smile! I cant wait for the day that they will be able to go inside that temple and become an eternal family. A family that wont be together just here on this earth, but will be a family linked together for time and all eternity! 
  Sometimes there are things in life that you just cant explain and these experiences fall into that category.So if you want to know what I'm talking about, hop on the nearest form of transportation and get to the closest temple, even if you cant go inside! But the image and feeling from both occasions will forever be with me, never to be forgotten. I feel so honored to be a part of these spiritual experiences, and to be a part of both of their journeys into the wonderful gospel. I don't know why I was blessed to be a part of it, but I wouldn't trade it for anything in this world! Thank you! :)
  There really are blessings that come for those who attend the temple. Not just immediate strength and personal revelation, but blessings that last for an eternity. Before I left on a mission I worked for a wedding and event firm, naturally I witnessed a lot of weddings! And it always killed me when you saw 2 people so incredibly in love and than to hear the words "till death do us part". The beautiful thing about the restored gospel through the Prophet Joseph Smith is that not only were correct principles and doctrines restored, but the priesthood or the power and authority of God was restored as well. This is why families are able to be made eternal in the temple. In Matthew 16:19 we read " And I will give unto you the keys of the kingdom of heaven: and whatsoever thou shalt bind on earth shall be bound in heaven". If you love someone so much, wouldn't you want to spend more than just the short time we have here on earth with them? 
  I know that families are forever! This knowledge brings me great comfort in times of uncertainty! I know that I will see my sweet grandma again and all my other family members who are on the other side of the veil. I know that no matter what happens here in this life all will be made right and perfect in the end and that MY family is forever. Its more than forever! Its eternal! Families are essential and the center of our Heavenly Fathers plan and I am happy I have the one I have. There is a quote on my moms wall that say "We may not have it all together, but together we have it all". That is 100% correct, we are far from the perfect family, but they are perfect enough for me! So wherever you are give your sibling a hug, or call up your mom and tell her you love her because they are a Gods special gift to you, intended to never be separated. 

-XOXO-

Good Things to Come

Just a little add on... I have always loved this video and it has helped me on various accounts, but it never seemed more real than it did today!

What kind of Faith do you have?

  2014 Really started out as an interesting year. In case you haven't heard New Years in the Philippines is the greatest firework show ever experienced! Better than any 4th of July! It literally sounded like there was a war going on outside! Anyways...
  On January 1st my companion and I took our journey to the hospital. I have to admit I was a little scared of doing this blood type test. Everyone told me that it was nothing to worry about! All they do is prick your finger! That's not a big deal! I can do that! Well, I went into the little room and the tech started telling me what to do. Well, I didn't study medical Tagalog! but I got that I needed to sit down and put my arm out! That defiantly didn't sound like put out your finger! So, there I was getting my arm poked! But its OK because after, while waiting for the results I was able to look at the adorable Christmas tree in the lobby that looked like a syringe! Anyways back on subject! I got my results back and.. Yep I was o+ which meant I had the same blood type as my sister. Now what do I do?!...
  Well, transfers were that following week so, it was a great bonding opportunity for my new companion and I. I must say Heavenly Father knew what he was doing there because my dear companion was a huge support for me and really helped strengthen me! I prayed and fasted so much that week. And by the time Zone Conference rolled around I knew what I needed to do. Every time I would pray about what I should do, I just felt this sort of peace and energy and it was just this kind of "lets do this!" attitude. So I talked with my mission president and he was very supportive of whatever conclusion my family and I came to. So after discussion with my mom and James we decided to have a family fast that coming Sunday. After the fast and before talking with my family on p-day I message my mission president telling him that I needed to come home. That is how sure I was of my answer. Well being the wise man that he is he advised me to talk with my family first and than let him know.
  One of my concerns about coming home was if I would be able to return to the mission field after. Well, prayers were defiantly answered that day. I learned that I would in fact be able to return to the mission field whether I was a match or not! This was just a double confirmation that this was the right decision!
  As a missionary we need to be up no later than 6:30AM. I am laying in my bed and I hear the phone ring, it shows President Sperry's name on the screen. "OH NO!! I SLEPT IN!!" So I tried to not have a sleepy voice while answering the phone, chatted with him and when I hung up I realized it was just before 6:30! That made me feel so much better! I didn't want to be a disobedient missionary! :)  We all thought that it was going to be a few weeks until I came home because of security clearances and what not, but than I get another call later that afternoon telling me that I needed to go back to my apartment and to start packing my things. I had to ask a few times what was said because I really couldn't believe it! The voice on the phone said that I would be on a flight the next morning! WHAT?! That fast?! I didn't even have time to say good bye to anyone! Not long after that phone call I was sitting in a hotel trying to wrap my head around what was happening!
  So I came got home and I received the most amazing welcome! I was released by my stake president and than I went to see my sister who happened to be at the church. Oh, side note, the only people who knew exactly when I would be home was my parents and my stake president! I walked into the gym and saw my Lily bug. She looked up, looked away and than looked up again and her jaw dropped, and than she just ran as fast as she could into my arms! It was the cutest thing ever! :) And than there was my sister and Nephews! They all cry a lot (love you guys). But there was something different about these tears. It was the kind that let you know just how much they missed you and they were happy to see you home!
  That next morning I woke up to my brother welcoming me home and spending the day with him! I love those types of days! We always end up having fun! But this is the day that everything started and was "on record". We called the transplant coordinator and she quickly sent us the initial testing orders. Blood typing. Again. Well since I had already done this in the Philippines I already knew that I would pass that test. No stress about passing! Well the next step after that included "quite a bit of blood" and other little joys that I happily repeated! And when I got the call that I passed them I was SO excited! As always the hospital wants you to be as informed as possible about life changing events such as this so I was required to take a donors education class. Well the day I was scheduled to do this was the same day that we had to take my grandma to the emergency room! So there I was trying to take this class, schedule other appointments I HAD to have with in like a 4 day time frame and follow what was happening with my grandma. Lets just say it was a great day! And I mean that in all seriousness! I love being able to serve my family and be there for them as much as possible.
  Well, I was finally cleared from that round of tests which meant I was ready for clinic...in Utah. So me and my sisters, being who we are, decided to make a girls weekend out of it, even though it was in the middle of the week! :) And to make this long story a little shorter I'll just say we had fun!
  So, Monday I was cleared as a "normal person" well, not really they just decided I wasn't forced into this! But man was the phone call funny! I'll share one funny statement that I hope my brother doesn't get upset with me saying! I am on the phone and we are talking about my family and what not and I hear "your brother, how is his house?" Well, I said "Its a little messy, but I guess its OK"... the real question, "How is your brothers health!" bahaha welcome to my blond moments!
  Since I passed that questionnaire I was approved to go to "Clinic" which is where they look at the function and anatomy of your kidneys, and they determine if you are healthy enough for transplant and the whole 9 yards. Well, one of my tests from previous testing contradicted itself so they had to do some addition testing. Which meant I had to go to Salt Lake Tuesday night as well as Wednesday! On Tuesday I did a ct scan where they put a contrast dye in you so that they can see your kidneys! Let me just say that is some weird stuff! It starts out making your body feel warm and than suddenly you get really hot and feel like you wet yourself. But as the nurse informed me when I first went in you in fact do not wet yourself! But I thought that if it went on much longer I was going to die from heat stroke or something! Man it was a different experience! But than this morning I did what they call a GFR test ( I think that is what it is called!). They gave me 2 IVs and put some more dye type stuff in my and than set me on a table and lowered a x-ray type plate over me, I felt like a little Jayne sandwich! It was great!
  Than it came time for the big test down in the clinic with all of the doctors and surgeons. It started out great! My blood pressure was perfect, my height and weight were fine. And than the doctor came in and talked to me about some stuff and than he tells me "I don't think you will be a good candidate for donation" my first though was "excuse me?!" All of my tests show that I am healthy. Well a little fact about our anatomy! About 85% of the population only has 1 artery and 1 vein that coming from their Kidneys and 15% of the population has more than 1. If you have 2 they can kind of re-construct your kidney to make it work. But more than that its just out of the question. Than they look at the size of the kidney. Most peoples kidneys are only slightly different in size. Well to put this all together one of my kidneys has 2 arteries and the other has 3. So I said, OK, take the one that only has 2! Well, that one would have been great for transplant, the only problem is that the size difference is so big that my body wouldn't be able to keep up with itself, if we left me with the smaller Kidney and I would be in the same case that my sister is in.
  When all of this started I knew that there was a chance that I wouldn't be a match. And until now I thought it would just be something I would accept and it wouldn't really affect me. I would know that I tried my hardest! but lets just say, that's not really how it went. I don't really know how to describe how I feel, but I think helpless could be a good word to describe it. I want to be upset, and frustrated, but I cant. I know that this is part of His plan. He knew what the outcome would be before it all started! But here I am, trying to figure out just what that plan is. But maybe, I'm not supposed to understand. Maybe that is the point. Just learning hot to follow without knowing. Maybe the point is to see if I can follow his will and have the Faith to accept what he wants. Most of us have all the Faith in the world for the things that we want. But a quote that keeps sticking in my head comes from a talk that President David A. Bednar gave in a CES broadcast a few years ago. He was asked to go to the hospital to help a young couple who had just been married face the reality of a very serious illness. I don't quite remember what it was, but they asked him if he would give them a priesthood blessing. He said that he asked them a few questions before giving the blessing about faith and different things, and than he asked the young couple if they "had enough Faith not to be healed". Maybe Heavenly Father is testing mine and others Faith. Sure we have the Hope and Faith for those things that we want. But do we have enough Hope and Faith to accept His plan for us. Can we trust that He has our best interest in mind and that if we follow everything will turn out much better than we ever dreamed?
  Those are questions that I am still trying to answer for myself. I KNOW that He has a plan and it is more perfect than we can imagine, but am I willing to take a step into the unknown, and follow? If my purpose being home isn't to give my sister a kidney, than what is it? Maybe it is to learn that exact lesson. I'm not really sure, but I have the Faith that one day it will all make perfect sense!
  I would like to thank those who have prayed and been a support for my family and I. This has been a rough journey, and now that one roller coaster ride is done we are looking for others who want to get on and try it out! But we really couldn't have done it with out you and your Faith. I wish there was some way to repay you all. But please know that I thank you from the very bottom of my heart!Oh! And in case anyone was wondering, I'm not afraid of needles anymore!;)

-XOXO-

"Do you know what is really important in your life?"

November 8,2013

Typhoon Yolanda

Category:5

Total Fatalities:5,260

Total times to make landfall: 5

     I was in my first area when Typhoon Yolanda ripped through the Philippines.

  I remember we were getting ready to go out for the day when we messaged our member present to confirm, and she responded back something to the fact of "Sisters, there is a typhoon headed our way, you need to stay inside". Well being the nieve missionaries that we were we kind of giggled, and and said to ourselves, we have typhoons all the time! We're missionaries! We cant stay in just because of a little rain! So... we went out to work! Later on we received a message from our mission leaders that asked us to make sure we had everything we would need for 3 days, and if we had any flooding in our areas to make contact with mission leaders and to stay safe. Luckily our mission had no permanent damage, we only experienced increased wind and rain. But what we didn't know until the next day was that others, lots of others were going through hell and back, and the end was no where in sight. 

  I don't know all of the details of the storm. And I wouldn't dare to imagine the types of things that those caught in the middle had to see and go through!...

  Today was fast Sunday. That means members and non-members who wish to participate go without food and water for 2 consecutive meals. They than donate the money that they would have spent on those meals to the church for humanitarian use. As people gave their testimonies about missionary work and such I had the opportunity to reflect on the time I had as a missionary in the Philippines Quezon City North Mission, and than I tried to figure out what my most spiritual sacrament meeting was. First I would like to say all sacrament meetings are great, but this one really made me stop and think. 

  After the Typhoon the Philippines Tacloban Mission was closed to missionary work because of safety precautions. Well, all of those missionaries had to go somewhere! They were re-assigned to different missions in the Philippines. At the time I was serving the people of the La Mesa ward. I should just pause a second and say that these wonderful saints are so loving and accepting and I am SO incredibly thankful to have been able to serve in their ward. They quickly became like family and they will forever have a special place in my heart! mahal na mahal kita lahat!

  The first Sunday after the Tacloban missionaries were reassigned we (the La Mesa ward) met Elder Lowe. I remember at first we though we was quiet, and than we all got to know him! And from than he was know as the" always happy and enthusiastic missionary". As tradition goes, missionaries are asked to introduce themselves and say a little something their first Sunday in a new area. Everyone was so excited because we had seen the pictures and heard the stories, but we hadn't met anyone who had actually seen the storm. But we weren't ready for the things we were about to hear. Not because it was bad but because it would change our lives forever. When Elder Lowe got up, he started with the usual, name, home town and so forth and than he began to talk about the Atonement and how it now had new meaning in his life. "When you loose everything, you find that you really have it all" he said "The things that mean the most in life are the things that help you to get through the hard times, the things that give you hope and peace!". And than he asked the question "Do you know what is really important in your life?". I cant speak for everyone in sacrament meeting that day but the spirit in that room was like something I had only felt a few times before in my life. I honestly cant really say I remember exactly what was said that day but I do know that the things I was complaining about suddenly didn't matter. Things like my sisters wedding, births of new family members, and the crazy thanksgiving my family have had, seemed to flood my mind. In this same moment I was thankful for the knowledge I have of the gospel of Jesus Christ.I am grateful that I have the fullness! Not just bits and pieces! I'm thankful for my knowledge of the Atonement and knowing that even though I am a very imperfect person I can become clean from my sins and face my maker one day! Jesus Christ came to this world  already once before, and he is coming back! This time with reign and glory. And that second coming is not far off. In Doctrine and Covenants section 88 verse 90 it tells that the seas will have no boundaries, this being one of the signs of His coming. Typhoon Yolanda, seemed to have no bounds.

So I pose the question to you all "Do you know what is really important in your life?"

  I am grateful for the opportunity that I had to meet not only Elder Lowe but the other missionaries from Tacloban. My testimony was made stronger by their examples and desire to serve! They are strong, courageous, and valiant, ready to serve their king! Their optimism has helped so many people through their trying times. There is a saying that "the Filipino spirit is waterproof", I would like to add on and say "the missionary spirit is waterproof". And those missionaries have proved it!

  I keep saying this but it is only because it is true, serving as a missionary was the greatest experience of my life. Having the opportunity to meet new people everyday and invite them to come unto Christ has brought me more happiness than anything else I have ever done. Not only do you have the opportunity to see miracles on a daily basis but you also get to meet wonderful people who end up changing your life!

-XOXO-

P.s The Tacloban Mission has been re-opened to missionary work, and they are seeing much success!