On January 1st my companion and I took our journey to the hospital. I have to admit I was a little scared of doing this blood type test. Everyone told me that it was nothing to worry about! All they do is prick your finger! That's not a big deal! I can do that! Well, I went into the little room and the tech started telling me what to do. Well, I didn't study medical Tagalog! but I got that I needed to sit down and put my arm out! That defiantly didn't sound like put out your finger! So, there I was getting my arm poked! But its OK because after, while waiting for the results I was able to look at the adorable Christmas tree in the lobby that looked like a syringe! Anyways back on subject! I got my results back and.. Yep I was o+ which meant I had the same blood type as my sister. Now what do I do?!...
Well, transfers were that following week so, it was a great bonding opportunity for my new companion and I. I must say Heavenly Father knew what he was doing there because my dear companion was a huge support for me and really helped strengthen me! I prayed and fasted so much that week. And by the time Zone Conference rolled around I knew what I needed to do. Every time I would pray about what I should do, I just felt this sort of peace and energy and it was just this kind of "lets do this!" attitude. So I talked with my mission president and he was very supportive of whatever conclusion my family and I came to. So after discussion with my mom and James we decided to have a family fast that coming Sunday. After the fast and before talking with my family on p-day I message my mission president telling him that I needed to come home. That is how sure I was of my answer. Well being the wise man that he is he advised me to talk with my family first and than let him know.
One of my concerns about coming home was if I would be able to return to the mission field after. Well, prayers were defiantly answered that day. I learned that I would in fact be able to return to the mission field whether I was a match or not! This was just a double confirmation that this was the right decision!
As a missionary we need to be up no later than 6:30AM. I am laying in my bed and I hear the phone ring, it shows President Sperry's name on the screen. "OH NO!! I SLEPT IN!!" So I tried to not have a sleepy voice while answering the phone, chatted with him and when I hung up I realized it was just before 6:30! That made me feel so much better! I didn't want to be a disobedient missionary! :) We all thought that it was going to be a few weeks until I came home because of security clearances and what not, but than I get another call later that afternoon telling me that I needed to go back to my apartment and to start packing my things. I had to ask a few times what was said because I really couldn't believe it! The voice on the phone said that I would be on a flight the next morning! WHAT?! That fast?! I didn't even have time to say good bye to anyone! Not long after that phone call I was sitting in a hotel trying to wrap my head around what was happening!
So I came got home and I received the most amazing welcome! I was released by my stake president and than I went to see my sister who happened to be at the church. Oh, side note, the only people who knew exactly when I would be home was my parents and my stake president! I walked into the gym and saw my Lily bug. She looked up, looked away and than looked up again and her jaw dropped, and than she just ran as fast as she could into my arms! It was the cutest thing ever! :) And than there was my sister and Nephews! They all cry a lot (love you guys). But there was something different about these tears. It was the kind that let you know just how much they missed you and they were happy to see you home!
That next morning I woke up to my brother welcoming me home and spending the day with him! I love those types of days! We always end up having fun! But this is the day that everything started and was "on record". We called the transplant coordinator and she quickly sent us the initial testing orders. Blood typing. Again. Well since I had already done this in the Philippines I already knew that I would pass that test. No stress about passing! Well the next step after that included "quite a bit of blood" and other little joys that I happily repeated! And when I got the call that I passed them I was SO excited! As always the hospital wants you to be as informed as possible about life changing events such as this so I was required to take a donors education class. Well the day I was scheduled to do this was the same day that we had to take my grandma to the emergency room! So there I was trying to take this class, schedule other appointments I HAD to have with in like a 4 day time frame and follow what was happening with my grandma. Lets just say it was a great day! And I mean that in all seriousness! I love being able to serve my family and be there for them as much as possible.
Well, I was finally cleared from that round of tests which meant I was ready for clinic...in Utah. So me and my sisters, being who we are, decided to make a girls weekend out of it, even though it was in the middle of the week! :) And to make this long story a little shorter I'll just say we had fun!
So, Monday I was cleared as a "normal person" well, not really they just decided I wasn't forced into this! But man was the phone call funny! I'll share one funny statement that I hope my brother doesn't get upset with me saying! I am on the phone and we are talking about my family and what not and I hear "your brother, how is his house?" Well, I said "Its a little messy, but I guess its OK"... the real question, "How is your brothers health!" bahaha welcome to my blond moments!
Since I passed that questionnaire I was approved to go to "Clinic" which is where they look at the function and anatomy of your kidneys, and they determine if you are healthy enough for transplant and the whole 9 yards. Well, one of my tests from previous testing contradicted itself so they had to do some addition testing. Which meant I had to go to Salt Lake Tuesday night as well as Wednesday! On Tuesday I did a ct scan where they put a contrast dye in you so that they can see your kidneys! Let me just say that is some weird stuff! It starts out making your body feel warm and than suddenly you get really hot and feel like you wet yourself. But as the nurse informed me when I first went in you in fact do not wet yourself! But I thought that if it went on much longer I was going to die from heat stroke or something! Man it was a different experience! But than this morning I did what they call a GFR test ( I think that is what it is called!). They gave me 2 IVs and put some more dye type stuff in my and than set me on a table and lowered a x-ray type plate over me, I felt like a little Jayne sandwich! It was great!
Than it came time for the big test down in the clinic with all of the doctors and surgeons. It started out great! My blood pressure was perfect, my height and weight were fine. And than the doctor came in and talked to me about some stuff and than he tells me "I don't think you will be a good candidate for donation" my first though was "excuse me?!" All of my tests show that I am healthy. Well a little fact about our anatomy! About 85% of the population only has 1 artery and 1 vein that coming from their Kidneys and 15% of the population has more than 1. If you have 2 they can kind of re-construct your kidney to make it work. But more than that its just out of the question. Than they look at the size of the kidney. Most peoples kidneys are only slightly different in size. Well to put this all together one of my kidneys has 2 arteries and the other has 3. So I said, OK, take the one that only has 2! Well, that one would have been great for transplant, the only problem is that the size difference is so big that my body wouldn't be able to keep up with itself, if we left me with the smaller Kidney and I would be in the same case that my sister is in.
When all of this started I knew that there was a chance that I wouldn't be a match. And until now I thought it would just be something I would accept and it wouldn't really affect me. I would know that I tried my hardest! but lets just say, that's not really how it went. I don't really know how to describe how I feel, but I think helpless could be a good word to describe it. I want to be upset, and frustrated, but I cant. I know that this is part of His plan. He knew what the outcome would be before it all started! But here I am, trying to figure out just what that plan is. But maybe, I'm not supposed to understand. Maybe that is the point. Just learning hot to follow without knowing. Maybe the point is to see if I can follow his will and have the Faith to accept what he wants. Most of us have all the Faith in the world for the things that we want. But a quote that keeps sticking in my head comes from a talk that President David A. Bednar gave in a CES broadcast a few years ago. He was asked to go to the hospital to help a young couple who had just been married face the reality of a very serious illness. I don't quite remember what it was, but they asked him if he would give them a priesthood blessing. He said that he asked them a few questions before giving the blessing about faith and different things, and than he asked the young couple if they "had enough Faith not to be healed". Maybe Heavenly Father is testing mine and others Faith. Sure we have the Hope and Faith for those things that we want. But do we have enough Hope and Faith to accept His plan for us. Can we trust that He has our best interest in mind and that if we follow everything will turn out much better than we ever dreamed?
Those are questions that I am still trying to answer for myself. I KNOW that He has a plan and it is more perfect than we can imagine, but am I willing to take a step into the unknown, and follow? If my purpose being home isn't to give my sister a kidney, than what is it? Maybe it is to learn that exact lesson. I'm not really sure, but I have the Faith that one day it will all make perfect sense!
I would like to thank those who have prayed and been a support for my family and I. This has been a rough journey, and now that one roller coaster ride is done we are looking for others who want to get on and try it out! But we really couldn't have done it with out you and your Faith. I wish there was some way to repay you all. But please know that I thank you from the very bottom of my heart!Oh! And in case anyone was wondering, I'm not afraid of needles anymore!;)
-XOXO-
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