Building our lives

So this week I had the opportunity to talk to a man who is a convert to the church and he told us his conversion story. He said that he came to Manila and didnt have anywhere to live, nothing to do and one day he met a man who got him a construction job...building a chapel for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. There were only 2 latter-day saints that were working on that job and he said for whatever reason he would hang out with them. Well that got him going to church and then one day his branch president ask if he knew how to cook... he said yes and the next thing he knew he was hired as house help for some missionaries and a year later he was serving his own mission. 

Something happened to this brother as he was building this sacred house of the Lord. The same thing happened to the Pioneers who trekked across America to find Zion. When they arrived in the Salt Lake valley they began to build the world famous temple, the Salt Lake Temple. This beautiful building took over 40 years to build as those who build it had to cut each stone by hand. They first got stones from the mountain and had to use whatever means possible to get it to the temple site. From there it was taken from its rugged raw state and formed into what is now a beautiful edifice! 

Heavenly Father is doing that with each one of us. He is taking us from our natural or Human man and turning us into a useful, beautiful instruments worthy and ready for exaltation. But we to must build our own temples. What sacrifices are you willing to make? what kind of materials are you going to use? and who are you going to allow into that temple?

As we can see from more than one example, beautiful things happen when we surround our lives with the spirit and clean and good things. 

I encourage all of you to select the things in your life wisely. And as you do you will find yourself growing closer and closer to our Eternal Father in Heaven!

I love you all! Have a great week!! 

-XOXO- 

Sister Hawkins 

Trying on Shoes

 Before I left to come to the mission I needed to get another pair of shoes... I wanted a different color than Black and maybe a little heel and of course it needed good arch support for all of my walking! but other than that I didn't have any specifications..So we went on the hunt... we went to so many different stores and nothing! They were all really cute! But they either didn't fit right, or rubbed in the wrong way... they just weren't right... well we ended up going to Dillards since that is where we found my shoes the first time I came out on my mission. We walked in and there where the shoes that I bought for my mission the first time. But I didn't want the same shoes! So we kept looking... we were at the store for maybe 2 hours!! And at one point I looked over and here comes my mom with an arm full of shoes and said "These are all the flats from over 

there, take your pick!" hahaha I love my mommy!... well I found a pair I really loved! They were a nude leather with a little heel, oh my goodness! They were so cute!! and they fit really good, the only problem was the price and there was just something there that didn't feel right!...I ended up going with the first pair I saw the same ones I had taken in black the first time I went out!  

Now you may be wondering why I am telling you this long drawn out story about shoe shopping... well...

 It is kind of like each of our lives you have something or a period in our life that finishes and we need to start a "new chapter"... that's when we go looking and here in this life we have so many options! So which one are we going to choose?! the one that looks cute or I guess fun or the one that is going to give us that "support" or assure us that you are doing the right thing?!... I have to be honest with everyone reading this and I hope by saying this I can help someone pick the path that has some unknowns but is ultimately the right path. But it was SO much harder for me to come back out on my mission. I had just gotten comfortable with my "normal life" and I remembered how hard it was being a missionary and having to learn a new language and all...so in essence I went shopping. Shopping for what I could now do with my life. I prayed and even fasted and I knew that Heavenly Father would support me in whatever decision I made just as any shoe would cover my feet from walking on the bare ground! But when it came down to the good and best choice I knew I needed to come back to the Philippines Quezon City North Mission. This path in my life wont just "cover my feet" but will give me the support, comfort and experiences that will not only help me but will help change lives for eternity! So here I am writing this in the Philippines, still breaking in these new shoes, but this time I have gratitude in my heart and optimism for every day that lies ahead of me! So take courage in His plan, and take that leap of Faith! And I promise if it is the right thing, and He wont let you go to far if it isn't, everything will be just fine! 

-XOXO-

Sister Hawkins 

Taking a step back

    Do you ever wish you had a camera around to capture all those "perfect" moments?! I saw a quote once that said "we don't remember days, we remember moments"...

    But why? What sets those moments apart from every other moment? Because it seems like some moments, such as those "big milestones" should stay with us forever and mean the most. But for me those big days seem to fade into a blur while the little, unlikely moments stand out like vibrant colors on a black canvas. Maybe it's because in those moments we realize or feel something new, or different. Maybe it's when you body and soul connect together.. Or maybe it's a simple as realizing that time doesn't stop, but goes by rather quickly. Like when you see your "little nephew" and you realize he is no longer a little boy. He is now a young man who is seeing  the value of a genuine compliment and being nice to others, and what it means to have faith. Or maybe it's that "magic in the air" affect that helps us to remember. Such as the night when you find yourself dancing to your favorite song under the only street light in the middle of no where with your best friend. Or perhaps it could be feeling peace and love when you realize a prayer has been answered. 
    You know, it is easy to get caught up in the stress if everyday life. But why should we always focus in the bad?? Are we not told that "thine aflictions will be but a small moment"? (D&C 121:7 ) It's time to start seeing the good. The good in the world, the good in those who have hurt you, and the good in yourself!

    The most tender memories can't be captured on camera because they are felt by the heart. But here's to all the good, yet crazy times I've experienced with those I love the most. A gentle nod to the past as we learn to embrace the unknown.

   

Getting Lost

  In my last area before I came home my companion and I were "opening the area". That just means that both of the missionaries in the companionship are new to the area and normally don't know any of the people or the area. I must say I had some of the most epic adventures in this area, including the big power box thingy that is attached to the power line ( i think it is called the transformer) exploding just down the street from where we lived!
  Because we weren't familiar with the area we chose 2 reference points, The church building and our Friday night dinner appointment! Both very important! Everyday for the first few days we would go to the church building and than start to find people from there, mostly because we needed to know where the church building was by Sunday, or...well, I don't know what kind of missionaries we would be if we didn't go to church!
  We saw so many miracles happen in this area and I was only there for 12 days! 
  On one particular day we started at the church and decided to try and find the members on the road leading to the church and to hopefully find some people to teach as well! We stopped by one house and introduced ourselves, the man wasn't interested BUT he did give us a referral for a less active! So we quickly found this less active family and when we met them they were very receptive and happy to see us after so many years! 
There was another time we were walking down the street and decided to stop and talk to a girl who looked like she was having a rough day, as we were talking to her we met her mother and just began to get to know their family. Well come to find out, she knew exactly who we were! She was a member herself, but they had just moved into the area and her husband was really sick so she was unable to go to church! 
  I know these are just simple stories, but the cool part about most of the miracles that happened, all came when we were lost. We didn't know where we were or where we should go, so we learned to listen and to follow, and miracles proceeded.
  When I came up to Utah to finish up testing and to help my sister I was again in a new city! My very wise sister told me "pick one or two places that you can make as a reference point and than never take the same route home". Her suggestion of reference point, the temple. The Logan temple sits up on a hill, brightly illuminated for all to see, especially a lost traveler. We also saw miracle in this beautiful city! Not the ones we were expecting, but ones I will ever be grateful for.
  Have you noticed anything similar about these stories?... The reference points are sacred places, and the miracles happened when the travelers were lost, left to rely on something more divine. Aren't we all a little lost in our lives? Seeking and striving to do the right thing? Where do you go when you are lost in your life, and who do you consult to find the right way? When life gets rough many people like to blame God, and they wonder why me? Why does this have to happen to me? But shouldn't we ask "Why not me?". Trials come to us for 1 of 2 reasons, it is either a consequence of sin, or it is Heavenly Father telling you its time to grow! That means Heavenly Father is trusting you! How awesome does that feel! The man who know EVERYTHING, and loves you more than we can dare to comprehend wants you to experience something greater than you already have! He sees your true divine potential. So, we have some options. We can say "no!" we can turn around and stop progressing by not going to church, by not continuing to pray and to be miserable. OR we can say "I don't know how I am going to do this, but, lets go". The second option isn't always the easiest, and the rewards often unseen but in the shadows of the trial lay the miracles waiting to be realized. It is those miracles and those tender mercies that make the rocky path worth it! So my dear friends, if you are lost and cant find your way, stop a second find something happy (there is ALWAYS something to be happy about!) and go back to what you know is right. I have a testimony that when we humble ourselves before Him he will show us where we need to go! Kaya mo yan! (You can do it!)  

-XOXO-

The Temple

  Have you ever been between a rock and a hard place, and you were just yearning for that "safe peaceful place". A place that made you closer to God, a place that makes you feel loved, and wanted...Somewhere that kind of reminds you of that childhood home that smells like chocolate chip cookie when you walk in... 
Well my home never really smelled like chocolate chip cookies when I walked in and neither does this "Heaven on Earth". BUT there is a place that allows you to feel peace and comfort when all other sources don't, and that place is what we call a Temple. 
  Temples aren't a new concept, you can read all about them in the Bible as well as The Book of Mormon. Temples are a very sacred, not secret place where worthy members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saint can go to make covenants and gain spiritual strength. There is a story about a little boy and a security guard for the temple. The security guard was watching the camera screen when he noticed a little boy run in and out of the gate. He though this was interesting, so he went outside to ask the boy what he was doing. The little boy asked the security guard if he could feel "it". The security guard looked a little confused and the little boy had the security guard go outside the gate and than run inside with him again. He than asked the question again "Can you feel it?". He than continued to tell the security guard that it "feels different" as they stood within the temple gates. There is a special spirit or feeling when you are at the temple, one that you cant find anywhere else. 
  This last summer I had the opportunity to take a little trip up to Utah with my family and my 2 best friends. Well my one best friend who many are familiar with (Ryan) was preparing for baptism just a week later. The first night that we got into Salt lake it was pretty late, if I am recalling correctly, so we didn't get out of the car, we just drove around the block. And the temple even though it is well lit and is rather large can sneak up on you in down town Salt Lake. So we told Ryan to look out his window, and the look in his eye as he caught his first glimpse of this sacred ground was priceless. It was as though heaven was in his eyes, and he had just witnessed a miracle.
  The same thing happened when we took investigators to visit the Manila temple. My dear friend in my first area went to the temple for the first time with his family and it would be sufficient to say they have experienced some rough times, but when you see the picture of the 3 of them standing with the temple in the background you cant help but notice the smile on their face. In fact after that day my companion was looking at the pictures and made the comment that they just looked so happy! For once they could smile! I cant wait for the day that they will be able to go inside that temple and become an eternal family. A family that wont be together just here on this earth, but will be a family linked together for time and all eternity! 
  Sometimes there are things in life that you just cant explain and these experiences fall into that category.So if you want to know what I'm talking about, hop on the nearest form of transportation and get to the closest temple, even if you cant go inside! But the image and feeling from both occasions will forever be with me, never to be forgotten. I feel so honored to be a part of these spiritual experiences, and to be a part of both of their journeys into the wonderful gospel. I don't know why I was blessed to be a part of it, but I wouldn't trade it for anything in this world! Thank you! :)
  There really are blessings that come for those who attend the temple. Not just immediate strength and personal revelation, but blessings that last for an eternity. Before I left on a mission I worked for a wedding and event firm, naturally I witnessed a lot of weddings! And it always killed me when you saw 2 people so incredibly in love and than to hear the words "till death do us part". The beautiful thing about the restored gospel through the Prophet Joseph Smith is that not only were correct principles and doctrines restored, but the priesthood or the power and authority of God was restored as well. This is why families are able to be made eternal in the temple. In Matthew 16:19 we read " And I will give unto you the keys of the kingdom of heaven: and whatsoever thou shalt bind on earth shall be bound in heaven". If you love someone so much, wouldn't you want to spend more than just the short time we have here on earth with them? 
  I know that families are forever! This knowledge brings me great comfort in times of uncertainty! I know that I will see my sweet grandma again and all my other family members who are on the other side of the veil. I know that no matter what happens here in this life all will be made right and perfect in the end and that MY family is forever. Its more than forever! Its eternal! Families are essential and the center of our Heavenly Fathers plan and I am happy I have the one I have. There is a quote on my moms wall that say "We may not have it all together, but together we have it all". That is 100% correct, we are far from the perfect family, but they are perfect enough for me! So wherever you are give your sibling a hug, or call up your mom and tell her you love her because they are a Gods special gift to you, intended to never be separated. 

-XOXO-

Good Things to Come

Just a little add on... I have always loved this video and it has helped me on various accounts, but it never seemed more real than it did today!

What kind of Faith do you have?

  2014 Really started out as an interesting year. In case you haven't heard New Years in the Philippines is the greatest firework show ever experienced! Better than any 4th of July! It literally sounded like there was a war going on outside! Anyways...
  On January 1st my companion and I took our journey to the hospital. I have to admit I was a little scared of doing this blood type test. Everyone told me that it was nothing to worry about! All they do is prick your finger! That's not a big deal! I can do that! Well, I went into the little room and the tech started telling me what to do. Well, I didn't study medical Tagalog! but I got that I needed to sit down and put my arm out! That defiantly didn't sound like put out your finger! So, there I was getting my arm poked! But its OK because after, while waiting for the results I was able to look at the adorable Christmas tree in the lobby that looked like a syringe! Anyways back on subject! I got my results back and.. Yep I was o+ which meant I had the same blood type as my sister. Now what do I do?!...
  Well, transfers were that following week so, it was a great bonding opportunity for my new companion and I. I must say Heavenly Father knew what he was doing there because my dear companion was a huge support for me and really helped strengthen me! I prayed and fasted so much that week. And by the time Zone Conference rolled around I knew what I needed to do. Every time I would pray about what I should do, I just felt this sort of peace and energy and it was just this kind of "lets do this!" attitude. So I talked with my mission president and he was very supportive of whatever conclusion my family and I came to. So after discussion with my mom and James we decided to have a family fast that coming Sunday. After the fast and before talking with my family on p-day I message my mission president telling him that I needed to come home. That is how sure I was of my answer. Well being the wise man that he is he advised me to talk with my family first and than let him know.
  One of my concerns about coming home was if I would be able to return to the mission field after. Well, prayers were defiantly answered that day. I learned that I would in fact be able to return to the mission field whether I was a match or not! This was just a double confirmation that this was the right decision!
  As a missionary we need to be up no later than 6:30AM. I am laying in my bed and I hear the phone ring, it shows President Sperry's name on the screen. "OH NO!! I SLEPT IN!!" So I tried to not have a sleepy voice while answering the phone, chatted with him and when I hung up I realized it was just before 6:30! That made me feel so much better! I didn't want to be a disobedient missionary! :)  We all thought that it was going to be a few weeks until I came home because of security clearances and what not, but than I get another call later that afternoon telling me that I needed to go back to my apartment and to start packing my things. I had to ask a few times what was said because I really couldn't believe it! The voice on the phone said that I would be on a flight the next morning! WHAT?! That fast?! I didn't even have time to say good bye to anyone! Not long after that phone call I was sitting in a hotel trying to wrap my head around what was happening!
  So I came got home and I received the most amazing welcome! I was released by my stake president and than I went to see my sister who happened to be at the church. Oh, side note, the only people who knew exactly when I would be home was my parents and my stake president! I walked into the gym and saw my Lily bug. She looked up, looked away and than looked up again and her jaw dropped, and than she just ran as fast as she could into my arms! It was the cutest thing ever! :) And than there was my sister and Nephews! They all cry a lot (love you guys). But there was something different about these tears. It was the kind that let you know just how much they missed you and they were happy to see you home!
  That next morning I woke up to my brother welcoming me home and spending the day with him! I love those types of days! We always end up having fun! But this is the day that everything started and was "on record". We called the transplant coordinator and she quickly sent us the initial testing orders. Blood typing. Again. Well since I had already done this in the Philippines I already knew that I would pass that test. No stress about passing! Well the next step after that included "quite a bit of blood" and other little joys that I happily repeated! And when I got the call that I passed them I was SO excited! As always the hospital wants you to be as informed as possible about life changing events such as this so I was required to take a donors education class. Well the day I was scheduled to do this was the same day that we had to take my grandma to the emergency room! So there I was trying to take this class, schedule other appointments I HAD to have with in like a 4 day time frame and follow what was happening with my grandma. Lets just say it was a great day! And I mean that in all seriousness! I love being able to serve my family and be there for them as much as possible.
  Well, I was finally cleared from that round of tests which meant I was ready for clinic...in Utah. So me and my sisters, being who we are, decided to make a girls weekend out of it, even though it was in the middle of the week! :) And to make this long story a little shorter I'll just say we had fun!
  So, Monday I was cleared as a "normal person" well, not really they just decided I wasn't forced into this! But man was the phone call funny! I'll share one funny statement that I hope my brother doesn't get upset with me saying! I am on the phone and we are talking about my family and what not and I hear "your brother, how is his house?" Well, I said "Its a little messy, but I guess its OK"... the real question, "How is your brothers health!" bahaha welcome to my blond moments!
  Since I passed that questionnaire I was approved to go to "Clinic" which is where they look at the function and anatomy of your kidneys, and they determine if you are healthy enough for transplant and the whole 9 yards. Well, one of my tests from previous testing contradicted itself so they had to do some addition testing. Which meant I had to go to Salt Lake Tuesday night as well as Wednesday! On Tuesday I did a ct scan where they put a contrast dye in you so that they can see your kidneys! Let me just say that is some weird stuff! It starts out making your body feel warm and than suddenly you get really hot and feel like you wet yourself. But as the nurse informed me when I first went in you in fact do not wet yourself! But I thought that if it went on much longer I was going to die from heat stroke or something! Man it was a different experience! But than this morning I did what they call a GFR test ( I think that is what it is called!). They gave me 2 IVs and put some more dye type stuff in my and than set me on a table and lowered a x-ray type plate over me, I felt like a little Jayne sandwich! It was great!
  Than it came time for the big test down in the clinic with all of the doctors and surgeons. It started out great! My blood pressure was perfect, my height and weight were fine. And than the doctor came in and talked to me about some stuff and than he tells me "I don't think you will be a good candidate for donation" my first though was "excuse me?!" All of my tests show that I am healthy. Well a little fact about our anatomy! About 85% of the population only has 1 artery and 1 vein that coming from their Kidneys and 15% of the population has more than 1. If you have 2 they can kind of re-construct your kidney to make it work. But more than that its just out of the question. Than they look at the size of the kidney. Most peoples kidneys are only slightly different in size. Well to put this all together one of my kidneys has 2 arteries and the other has 3. So I said, OK, take the one that only has 2! Well, that one would have been great for transplant, the only problem is that the size difference is so big that my body wouldn't be able to keep up with itself, if we left me with the smaller Kidney and I would be in the same case that my sister is in.
  When all of this started I knew that there was a chance that I wouldn't be a match. And until now I thought it would just be something I would accept and it wouldn't really affect me. I would know that I tried my hardest! but lets just say, that's not really how it went. I don't really know how to describe how I feel, but I think helpless could be a good word to describe it. I want to be upset, and frustrated, but I cant. I know that this is part of His plan. He knew what the outcome would be before it all started! But here I am, trying to figure out just what that plan is. But maybe, I'm not supposed to understand. Maybe that is the point. Just learning hot to follow without knowing. Maybe the point is to see if I can follow his will and have the Faith to accept what he wants. Most of us have all the Faith in the world for the things that we want. But a quote that keeps sticking in my head comes from a talk that President David A. Bednar gave in a CES broadcast a few years ago. He was asked to go to the hospital to help a young couple who had just been married face the reality of a very serious illness. I don't quite remember what it was, but they asked him if he would give them a priesthood blessing. He said that he asked them a few questions before giving the blessing about faith and different things, and than he asked the young couple if they "had enough Faith not to be healed". Maybe Heavenly Father is testing mine and others Faith. Sure we have the Hope and Faith for those things that we want. But do we have enough Hope and Faith to accept His plan for us. Can we trust that He has our best interest in mind and that if we follow everything will turn out much better than we ever dreamed?
  Those are questions that I am still trying to answer for myself. I KNOW that He has a plan and it is more perfect than we can imagine, but am I willing to take a step into the unknown, and follow? If my purpose being home isn't to give my sister a kidney, than what is it? Maybe it is to learn that exact lesson. I'm not really sure, but I have the Faith that one day it will all make perfect sense!
  I would like to thank those who have prayed and been a support for my family and I. This has been a rough journey, and now that one roller coaster ride is done we are looking for others who want to get on and try it out! But we really couldn't have done it with out you and your Faith. I wish there was some way to repay you all. But please know that I thank you from the very bottom of my heart!Oh! And in case anyone was wondering, I'm not afraid of needles anymore!;)

-XOXO-